From the magnificent Derek Haines and the ‘Derek’s Vandal’ blog:
Excerpt below, click link for the full deal:
How To Write A Book
I was reading Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’ for about the unteenth time recently and it occurred to me that although a great read and full of wisdom, it might be a bit long for those who want to get a book out super fast on Amazon. So I thought I might offer a helping hand for those first time aspiring writers who want to publish their first ebook – this week!So here is the less than 300 word version of ‘The Vandal On Writing’.
Very first thing to do is get a thesaurus. You’ll really need to find other words to replace really. Really! Then grab a bag of Scrabble tiles and pick (no peeking) seven tiles. Now get to work and find a title using the seven letters. Got it? Great.
So, Sqwizli is your title and to save time, make him or her your main character. Now off to morguefile.com to find an image using your title as a search word. Now just add ‘written by’ and your name and you have everything you need for the front cover. If you have a long name, shorten it. Popular authors have names consisting of less than 6 letters! King, Brown, Adams, Carey etc.
Now for the book bit. Easy. Start with a knock at the front door and have Sqwizli choke on his cornflakes in surprise, then when he finally opens the door he gets some surprising (Nope. Used surprise. Where’s the thesaurus?) mysterious news.
